


The Hazards of Neural Impulses

by Makkakaus



Series: The Kurosaki Enju Archives [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:35:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25522969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makkakaus/pseuds/Makkakaus
Summary: Aka the dangers of having feelings.Various additional scenes that were cut out of TPoSI or that I couldn't manage to fit in, including things from fluffy dates and character bonding to introspective pieces or alternate POVs.
Relationships: Hirako Shinji/Original Character(s), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Series: The Kurosaki Enju Archives [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1849021
Comments: 15
Kudos: 115





	The Hazards of Neural Impulses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while listening to the new Arknights collab song on repeat. Last of Me ft. RUNN by Steve Aoki. It's a lit song. I think it fits Enju very well.
> 
> Takes place during chapter 1 of TPoSI shortly after Enju enters university.

_"See ya around."_

It's only later that she realizes he really meant it. 

The first time she bumps into him again after he gives her the gloves is after orientation week, when she's on her way back from classes. She's made a couple… she hesitates to call them friends, but they're in the same dorm and program as her (English, chosen for ease of study given her memories from her previous life), she's spent a couple lunches with them, and she's partnered up with them for a class project already, so she supposes "friends" fits the bill well enough.

Anyhow, she's made a couple friends already, and is leaving the classroom with them when she spots him leaning against the wall across from the classroom doors.

"Yo~" He twirls his hat on one finger while waving with his other hand. "Done classes for the day yet?"

Enju blinks. "Hirako-san… Is something the matter?" _Why are you here? Did something happen?_

"Nah, just checkin' up on ya."

Enju frowns. Her family isn't in contact with him. The only other person that might care enough to ask Hirako to go out of his way to check up on her instead of contacting her directly would be…

"You can tell Urahara I'm fine," she huffs. She supposes that regardless of the memories of her previous life, though fragmented as they are, any human next to Urahara would seem like a weak infant. But really, he should know by now that she can handle herself. They've known each other for seven years now and he's been guiding her every step of the way. And this isn't her first experience with university (though granted, her actual first time had not been the best. But no one needs to ever know that).

Hirako huffs in return and clears the distance between them in several quick steps, reaching out to ruffle her hair. "I didn't come cause o' Urahara, brat. I came cause _I_ wanted ta check up on ya." Enju scowls, batting his hand away. It irritates her when he treats her like a young girl when he knows that she really isn't one, and it's precisely why he does it.

Behind her, Nishima, Kayano, and Usami start whispering, and she freezes, a chill running down her spine. Hirako peers behind her and gives a wave. "Sorry fer interruptin', ladies. Mind if I steal her away fer a bit or do y'all already have plans fer dinner?"

"Nope," Nishima grins, pushing her glasses up.

"No plans at all," Kayano says, a glint in her eyes.

"You didn't tell us you had a boyfriend, Kurosaki!" Usami cries, throwing herself over Enju, who winces at the sudden weight on her back. "And he's cute! Hi, we're Kurosaki's new friends, if she ever dumps you, keep me in mind-"

Usami yelps when Nishima grabs her by the ear and hauls her off. "I know you just got dumped by that jerkface but no stealing friends' boyfriends, Rena. Down."

"Sorry about her," Kayano says with absolutely no repentance in her voice. "Have fun, text us if you need us to sneak you back in after curfew or if you're just not gonna go back to the dorms tonight-"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Enju hisses.

Hirako places his hand on her head and rests his head on it. "How mean~" he drawls. "After I came up all this way ta take ya ta dinner-"

" _Don't encourage them,_ " Enju hisses. She elbows his chest until he backs away. 

"It's okay," Nishima says, raising a hand. "It's not like we're in high school anymore and can't hold hands in public or anything, you don't have to hide it."

"I said, _he's not my-_ You know what? This isn't worth it." She grabs Hirako's arm and starts pulling him towards the exit, ignoring Usami's cooing and Nishima's knowing smirk. Kayano isn't laughing or smiling but she knows the girl is having the time of her life.

"They seem nice," Hirako grins.

" _You_ be quiet, you've done nothing but stir up trouble for your own entertainment since you got here."

Hirako laughs. "I've missed ya. There's no one like ya among the Visored or at Urahara's. Well, maybe if I put Kensei in a skirt and took away his training weights?"

"Muguruma-san seemed like a very reasonable person," she mutters. "I don't think he'd go around pretending to be my boyfriend just because it annoys me."

"True, he spends all his time gettin' mad at Mashiro instead." Because she's still dragging Hirako along, she doesn't see the way his grin softens.

Once outside, she lets go of his arm and turns to face him again. "Did you really come all the way up here just to check up on me?" It's far in the edge of Karakura, practically edging into the next town over, and it's at least a forty minute train ride from his end of town, if he didn't just shunpo his way here.

"Really, swear ta the soul king." He smiles, and it's softer than his usual cheeky grins and she has no idea how to deal with it. She brings a hand up to her neck and looks away.

"… Thank you, I guess."

"Nothin' to it." For once, Hirako doesn't take the clear chance to tease her. "Know any good places nearby?"

"Sorry?"

"Fer dinner." Hirako grins, this time back to the usual him. "I meant it when I said I'd take ya ta dinner. Heard all sorts o' stuff 'bout cafeteria food. If it's anythin' like what they served at the barracks back in Seireitei, it can't be appetizing."

"It's… not terrible," Enju allows.

"So it's really that bad, huh," Hirako laughs. "C'mon. Ya've gotta be cravin' real food. Ya ain't so rich ya can turn down free food, yeah?"

"… There's a katsu place nearby…"

"Enju," Hirako interrupts. "I'm not poor. Ya've seen the warehouse. Urahara has his ways o' makin' money and he made sure we wouldn't be livin' in bad conditions. I know yer tastes. Try again."

Enju scowls. "Fine, then. There's an eel restaurant in town."

"Oho? Eel? I can't tell if yer trying ta flirt or bleed me dry."

"Huh?"

"… Never mind."

* * *

One visit turns into two turns into five and before she can process what it all means Hirako's visits are a regular occurrence. Approximately twice a week during the weekday he'll make his way up to the university, where despite her not having told him her schedule, she'll find him waiting outside her class.

They'll get something to eat and hang out in one of the many lounges around campus. Enju will work on her homework and Hirako will fill her in on what's going on.

Occasionally, when Enju isn't too busy, they'll go somewhere secluded and out of view and play a high-speed game of two-person onigokko to ensure that Enju's skills aren't getting too rusty. Enju wins maybe a third of their games, but she's certain Hirako is going easy on her.

(Enju is still unable to produce a fullbring focus from the things she carries on her body, so they can't spar.)

Nishima, Kayano, and Usami snicker every time she denies her relationship with Hirako. She's half certain that they're aware he's not her boyfriend and are just keeping up the pretense because it's fun. Hirako never helps to dissuade them.

"You have such a good boyfriend, Kurosaki-san," Usami sighs, poking at her store-bought pudding. "My last one couldn't be bothered to walk five minutes to get me a snack from the cafeteria between my classes once a week, and yours hand delivers dinner like every other day. Guess I should have known something was up with that jerk, though."

Enju sighs. "He's not my boyfriend. Aren't we supposed to be assigning the parts of this project?"

Nishima laughs. "We've got time still. Suuuure. He gets you dinner and walks you home from class and scolds you when you don't eat but he's not your boyfriend."

One time, Enju had stumbled out of class, exhausted and hungry and close to falling over, and Hirako's never let her forget it.

Enju sighs. "Seriously, he isn't. He's just… A family friend."

Kayano's eyes gleam. "Do your parents not approve of him or something? I guess he does look a bit old. Is he already graduated?"

 _I don't think he ever went to university,_ Enju thinks. Out loud, she replies, "Yeah, he's pretty old."

"He looks great for being old, though," Nishima muses. "He can't be more than what, twenty-five? Thirty?"

"I wouldn't know," Enju replies waspishly. "Because we're not together."

"So you're just friends with benefits then?" Usami leans forward, smelling gossip. "He's so nice to you though! What a waste. You should definitely get on that before you lose your chance, Kurosaki-chan. A lot of girls are eyeing him, you know."

"I know I am," Kayano laughs. "For real though. If you're really not dating, I'd totally give it a shot."

"Me too," Usami chimes in.

"Go ahead," Enju grumbles, rubbing her forehead. "By all means, don't let my non-existent relationship stop you."

Usami, Kawaki, and Nishima share a look and burst out laughing. "We're kidding, Kurosaki-chan," Nishima laughs. "He's all yours."

"Sorry," Usami adds, seeing Enju's darkening expression. "You're just so fun to tease, you know?" She slides her half-finished box of pocky across as an apology, grinning when Enju snatches it up and chomps on three sticks at once.

She then senses a familiar reiatsu signature approaching and devours the rest of the pocky with a speed that would put an electronic pencil sharpener to shame, standing up to grab her bag.

"I have to go-"

An arm slides over her shoulders, pushing her back down in her chair and keeping her from running. Shinji hangs off of her as he waves to her newly dubbed friends. "Hey there, thanks for keepin' this prickly princess company."

"No problem," the three girls chirp in unison, grins widening.

"Sorry," Hirako continues, shifting his attention to her. "I woulda been here sooner but I saw ya were with friends so I had ta get some more." He drops a plastic bag on the table to reveal four slices of cake from the local specialty store. "Figured ya could do with some sugar."

The three girls make various noises of happiness. She sighs and takes one of the cakes, her friends following suit. If she's going to suffer through this, she might as well have her cake. Taking a bite, she blinks down at the empty bag. "Where's yours?"

"Ya never finish yours so I figured I'd just have what's left," he replies, drawing up a chair so that the chair's back faces them and sitting down sideways so that he's facing her. Her teammates make a sound just short of cooing and she scowls, looking away. He definitely planned his just to torment her. She makes it a point to finish her cake, then realizes that was probably what he was after, and scowls again.

"So how long have you known Kurosaki-chan?" Kayano asks, voice deceptively casual. She ignores the glare Enju shoots her.

"Hmm, how long has it been… Since ya were in high school third year, right? Just at the start?"

Nishima's eyes _gleam_. "Oh my. I'm surprised her parents didn't object." Given that he would have been an adult while she was under eighteen. The girls would probably be more alarmed if they hadn't already seen the way the two interacted.

Hirako grins. "Her parents don't know about us."

Usami squeals in delight. "He's a _secret lover?_ Oh, Kurosaki-chan, I didn't expect that from you of all people! Hirako-san, were you her _sugar daddy?_ " The clear sarcasm in her voice lets them know she's just joking.

Enju lets her head fall down on her open notebook on the table with a thud. The girls and Hirako snicker.

"Nah, I ain't _that_ rich," Hirako chuckles. "If anything, she was the one that helped _me_ out." It's technically true; he's referring to her knowledge of future events. But he knows how misleading it sounds, damn him!

* * *

Nishima, the mother figure of the group, pulls her aside one day. "I know we joke around about Hirako-san a lot," she says, her expression unusually serious, "and as far as we can tell, he's harmless and treats you well and you're not uncomfortable around him. But if he ever tries to pull anything, or you just stop feeling safe around him or something, just let us know, okay?"

Off the top of her head, Enju recalls that Nishima knows how to hide a body from the many books she reads, some of them including criminology books that dive into past real murders. She feels touched.

"Thank you," she says. "I'll keep that in mind." Not that the girls would be able to do anything to Hirako. "But you don't have to worry. He really is a family friend-" of sorts, if he and Urahara could be called friends, "and is just looking out for me. There's nothing more between us." It's true, yet somehow saying it and having it be taken seriously makes her feel a little sad.

Nishima gives her an indiscernible expression. "Wow," she says. "I came into this prepared to plan a man's demise, but now I just feel sorry for him."

* * *

It was bound to happen eventually with the way she was pushing herself, she later realizes. About month into university, Enju wakes up one day with a throbbing headache and nausea. She pushes herself to get up and go to class, popping some advil. She lasts until her second class, where Nishima bustles her back, telling her under no uncertain terms to go to bed and not go to class until she's feeling better, they'll take notes for her and get her homework so _for once in her life would she stop trying to pretend she's fine and just go sleep._ It's the usually placid and calm Kayano that's the most upset, so Enju quietly obeys.

She climbs into bed, too tired to even change, just kicking off her stockings, gloves, and skirt. When she wakes up, her headache has receded slightly but her body aches and she can't muster up the energy to do more than move her head around. She blinks. "… Hirako?"

"Yeah," the blonde grins, sitting at her desk. He puts his phone down and wheels the chair over to her bed. "How're ya feelin' now?"

She closes her eyes and sighs, reaching up to rub the bridge of her nose. She's too tired to question how Hirako broke into her dorm. "Like I got run over by a bull."

Hirako gives a sympathetic tsk and places his hand on her forehead. "Ya got a nasty fever alright. How'd this happen? I thought I was feedin' ya enough." He grins when his joke draws a weak laugh out of her and drops his hand.

"Just a bug going around. Universities are breeding places for human illnesses. Rare for it to happen in summer, though."

"That sucks," Hirako grimaces. "Ya dealt with this before? I don't need ta drag Hachi up here?"

"Yes. I'll be fine."

"Ya need anything?"

"Mmm… Water, Pocari, an ice pack, and crackers." She tries to blink the drowsiness away.

"Gotcha." He places a hand over her eyes, making her close them. "Get some rest, I'll be back soon."

She drifts in and out of sleep for a while; she's not sure how long. The night passes in a haze, between waking up shivering and aching and falling into dreams she can't remember. She must have had a nightmare of some sort because she wakes up at some point panicked and breathing harshly and scrambles to sit up, forcefully regulating her breaths to stop from hyperventilating.

A hand on her back steadies her. "Ya alright?" Hirako asks.

Enju takes a few more deep breaths before answering. "F-fine." Her voice is hoarse and stuffy.

Hirako frowns. "Should I call Isshin, or-"

"No!" Her hand shoots out to grab his sleeve, eyes wide. "N-no. Don't call anyone."

"... Okay. If yer sure," Hirako says reluctantly, and some of her panic ebbs away as she lets go of his arm. Her hands miss his warmth immediately.

"You should go back now," she continues before she can think too much about that. "You might get sick. Can spirits get sick?" She's starting to babble now but she can't seem to stop. Her shaking hands come up to cover her face. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I tried not to get sick but I messed up, I'm sorry-"

Warm hands take her wrists gently and pry her hands away from her face. Hirako sits down on the side of the bed and gently pulls her towards him, her head falling on his shoulder. "Shh. It's fine. Ya can rely on me a bit more, ya know?"

"But I already rely on you too much," Enju says softly, but she doesn't resist. She goes limp against him, closing her eyes as her breath slowly evens out.

"Ya really don't," Hirako laughs softly. "Enju, I was a captain from the old guard. The training we've been doing? It's not even a warm-up for me. The food and visits is cause I wanted to; I know ya'd never ask me yerself. Ya only ever asked me for help once, and that was fer yer brother, not yerself." He pats her head gently. The motion is comforting and she finds herself leaning into his hand. "Ya won't refuse help, but ya almost never ask fer it. It's okay ta ask, Enju. Ya may not have come from this world but yer a part of it now. Ya don't need ta feel like ya don't deserve anything."

It feels like something in her cracks just a little bit from that. She curls up, her hands coming up to grasp his shirt.

She'd planned on thanking Hirako for delivering some stuff and then weathering through it by herself. She's done it before, a lifetime ago. Lived alone and had to take care of herself, with no one to check on her. She hadn't had many friends before, either. But she's always been lonely. She likes being alone sometimes, but she hates being lonely. 

(She wonders if that was in part why she was _chosen._ Easier for a lonely soul to get attached to a new family, to the point that she would do anything to protect them.)

And laying in bed sick, disoriented, and in pain, trying to fall asleep alone, the loneliness had become almost crushing.

"Can you stay?" she asks quietly. "Just for tonight."

"O' course," Hirako says, just as quietly. He leans back until they're both lying down on the small twin sized bed, Enju curled up against him, her head resting on his arm that's still wrapped around her shoulders.

* * *

Shinji draws the covers up over just her, creating a thin barrier between them, and waits for her to fall asleep. She does so quickly, clearly exhausted.

Then he retreats to his inner world, where Sakanade lays at the entrance of her golden palanquin, purring so loud he can feel the vibration in the air as he approaches.

"Are you ever going to stop lying to yourself, Danna?" she asks, already anticipating what he's here for. She opens her eyes as she flips around to expose her belly. The action is far less cute when done by a sphinx the size and weight of three adult lions with a distinctly human face than by a kitten. Attempting to rub _this_ cat's belly will earn him something far more painful than a scratch or bite.

He's not here to entertain his fickle mistress, though.

While the Visored had managed to beat down their inner hollows, their inner hollow was less of an actual entity and more of a set of deeply rooted urges and desires that threatened to take them over if they ever gave in to them. Sometimes, those urges blended together too much with their own, making it difficult to tell where the hollow ended and where they began.

They had been worried, for a while, but Urahara had found an answer and solution for them. Who would know their souls better than the entity that lived within it? And they'd found that, indeed, their zanpakuto were very well attuned to their inner hollows.

"Yer sure it's not just the hollow?" he asks Sakanade. She deigns to grace him with a snort as she rolls back onto her stomach.

"Danna, you just want to use your inner hollow as an excuse. You don't want to admit that you're falling so hard and fast for a human, unusual as she is. Your pride is getting in the way." She licks a paw daintily and flicks her lion's tail.

"Have we been in the same body?" he asks dryly. "I've practically been winin' and dinin' her-"

"But if she were to reciprocate in earnest, you would panic," Sakanade says, sneering. "You switch between treating her like a child and treating her like a woman as you please. You want to be convinced that your feelings are merely blooming the way the Sakura do. Beautiful, but ephemeral and fleeting. They are not. She is no delicate flower to have withstood all that she has and you know it. But even the hardiest of weeds die when enough damage is done." Sakanade stands up now, claws as long as his hand clicking pointedly as she moves further into the palanquin.

"... Are ya sayin' I'm hurtin' her?"

"I am saying that there is a reason you do not tell people that she is your your first love the way you used to do whenever you met a pretty girl who catches your eye, and there is a reason for that." The palanquin snaps shut, visiting hours closed for the night. Shinji scowls as he's dismissed from his own soul.

"Ya never tell me why my soul likes her reiatsu so much," he mutters. He glances down at Enju, curled up into his side, breathing softly, a small, pale hand on his chest.

"Shinji," she murmurs softly, and his heart skips a beat. He scowls. What is he, a century-old brat experiencing his first crush? (He ignores Sakanade's snicker.)

"Dammit," he grumbles, shifting to pull her closer. "Yer too cute fer yer own good."

* * *

Enju wakes up slowly and closes her eyes again. She's exhausted, but feels much better. She hasn't slept this well in a while. Her pillow is weirdly boney, though, and her bed… feels like it's rising and then lowering? She opens her eyes again and meets Hirako's amused gaze.

She scrambles upright, her head dizzy from the rush of blood to her cheeks.

"That's a good look," Hirako laughs, something tender and soft in his expression, and Enju turns away, feeling her face heat up even further.

_Don't look, don't think about him laying on your bed, don't think about what happened last night-_

Ah, who is she kidding? She's never been able to "not think about" anything. At least she hadn't taken off her bra, and Hirako'd had the sense to not get under the covers.

She rubs the side of her nose. "… Thank you," she says quietly. _For staying. For helping._

"Ain't nothin' to it," he grins, sitting up. "Next time don't wait so long, just call me right away. 'S not like I've got much better to do." He places his hand on her head and ruffles her hair. She grumbles, but her hair was already messy.

As though on cue, her stomach growls, loudly. She sighs, accepting that this is her life, as Hirako laughs.

"Go get washed up, and let's go for some real breakfast."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does it count as dates if Enju doesn't notice that they're dates?
> 
> The joke with the eel restaurant is that eel is said to boost your sex drive in Japan lol. But Enju didn't know that. Eel is also a fairly fancy food and not the cheapest. It's not wagyuu beef levels but it's more than a couple burgers. It's really good though. But I live in a place that doesn't have access to fresh eel so I don't get to have it often ):
> 
> Nishima Eri - The group mom. Megane. High school friends with Usami, long-time babysitter. Major bookworm. Closet pervert. She's actually from a super rich family. She cosplays in her free time to destress, but it just causes even more stress. Knows how to hide a body and change facial features via makeup.
> 
> Kayano Satoko - On the university tennis team. Met Usami when Usami caught her at the time boyfriend cheating and stopped Usami from committing homicide in front of witnesses. She's a model student and athlete now but she used to run with a girl's gang in high school.
> 
> Usami Rena - A huge flirt and as preppy as they get, knows all the gossip. She seems like the one that gets around the most but is actually the most naïve of the group. Friendly with everyone but only close to a few people.
> 
> I didn't want to dive too far into Shinji and Enju's age difference because Enju was never mentally underage and nothing happened when she was physically underage (and also this is Bleach where shinigami live for millennia), but I also didn't want to just completely brush off how their relationship would look to an outsider like her friends at university.
> 
> Hirako took a gigai intending to visit Enju, then heard she was sick and went back to her dorms so he left his gigai on a bench and visited in spirit form. He returned to the gigai to buy the stuff for her, then left his gigai again to unlock her window so that he could bring the stuff in via her window in spirit form without being seen. It's a good thing gigai don't get sick lol.
> 
> 07/19/2020 Initial post


End file.
